oh-so-adorable's

New Year!

2012-01-20T11:18:00.000-08:00

Woooo, it's already 2012! Happy New Year!
I haven't come up with any new years resolutions for once..wow!
My dad told me I should keep a journal on the computer and write everyday in it. I suppose it'd be like a blog. A very personal one though! :P I've been working on that.
Also, my archer in Fiesta is now level 90. I'm taking a break from leveling that character for a while. Focusing on other chars.
I'm looking forward to a few things this year.
1. Being with my lover.
2. Use my main account on PWI.
3. Find a job before school maybeee!
4. School.
5. Getting use to a new place to live.
7. No more allergiiies!!
6. New lifestyle changez. Wooo!
This year will definitely be very enjoyable! :) Got my hubbywubbyyy, games, school AND bunchez of random fun stuff everyydayyy :D
ALSO!! I won't be suffering as much with these allergies! YAY FOR THE SHOTS! They're working, definitely~ :)
Oh, and!! Check out the inside of this cuuuute little cafe i went to, Yellow Bubble! I mean, I just wanted to show the art on the wall. lol. Take a look.

I don't think they finished painting the art yet, though. I'm going to go back there and check it out again. :)
Also, these adorable curtains

First time I saw them, I was just liek ":OOOOOO THAT. IS. AMAZIIING!" I just love plaid. If that's what it's called. XD
Oh and I absolutely cannot forget to show you what I ORDERED!

Hehhee. YUMMY! Caramelly :3
So there you go. That cafe is called Yellow Bubble. :)

I actually have more pictures to share.

Cooking them snailz, sonnnn. God, I couldn't eat that, but my parents did! had to put some flavorings on 'em..like..some salt I think? NO IDEA! I DIDNT TOUCH THEM! XD We still have HUNDREDS of those little snails. Oh my god. I took pics step by step of my dad preparing the snails to be cooked, btw. There's this whole annoying process...ofc..xD
Then another dayyy we weeeent..

tada! I took this pic with my phone. I thought it came out beautifullyyy. :) I'll let you know where this was taken, later. I forgot ...need my dad to remind me..LOL! Will edit this when I figure it out. AND this

:3

Now, what I am going to show you next is going to be THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER TASTED. THE.BEST.ONE.EVAR!!!!

BAMMMM!! Oh god, it's mouth watering, I know!! Spicy souuuupz, Idr the name of this, I'll ask my mom. BUT I always order this when we go out to eat. always. And this restaurant that we ate at, is now closed. I'm so sad. I almost cried. ._. Their kimchi...and that spicy soup...top notch, man. Best food I've ever tried in Korea. And we've gone out to eat countless times. This restaurant was just around the corner of our house toooo. Sooooooo depressed that it's closed. Oh wellll, man. At least we took my bro there before he went to study in japan. :)

BRING IN THE DESSERTTT!!

BAAMMM BABYYY! Oh god yes. YESS! So good! Soo...I ate this all by myself ;) ....HAHA! NOT! I'm just kidddiiiing. I shared this with my parents. :P You can see teh hands in this pic. READY TO OM NOM NOM! :)

Oh yeah and then..

You see these silly shtuff in the..shuttle...bus thing..or whatever. LOL. Gaah.It's all blurryy..But he's got pink circles on his cheeks. It's just sillyyy.

Well that's all I'm sharing for now. Still got more pics to show.
Hope you enjoy the new year~ n3n

Woohoo

2011-10-26T07:45:00.000-07:00

GAMING:
My archer in fiesta is now level 66, thanks to my pal Exillerate. Oh and Az helped me in Crystal Castle. He got me from lvl 61-64 really quickly with those repeatable quests. And ty to xil's mage buddy. \o/ AND no thanks to a certain healer we all know. thats is all. roflcopterskates.
My cleric is lvl 42. ;o Archer and cleric in BigTuna. Best.Guild.EVER.
Mage and trickster are nubs atm. They're both in BigTuna as well.

LIFE:
My mom is still in Japan, but she'll be back in the middle of next month. yay! Since my mom's been gone, I've realized something. I am way too spoiled! having my mom do all the house work. I mean, I never had actual chores growin' up. We had this thing that my dad called "Slave Labor" though, lol. We'd help him with yard work and all that good stuff. Funfunfun. Now I'm doing the dishes, laundry, everyyythiiing. I actually enjoy it. I feel like I'll be a great wife and mother. n3n

Fiesta

2011-10-17T06:51:00.000-07:00

Bleh. My lvl 53 archer should be grinding in 50 Abyss right now. but no. i'm too lazy. LOL. i'm chillin' on my trickster, having my friend plvl it to lvl 20. So bored.. =o= It's only 10:54PM right now. I'll probably watch anime after I play Fiesta for like an hour. URGGG. I can't wait 'til I'm back in America so I can play Vindictus again. Will try to post screenshots successfully in my next few posts.

LoL Karma. Victory!

2011-10-12T00:56:00.000-07:00

I wanted to try out my Karma build in League of Legends. I felt like I FAILED with getting kills(0 kills XD) , I decided to just be support(not support carry)..which I should probably try to do more damage next time. LOL. I have a screenshot of the game results. (VICTORY)
I tried putting the picture up, but it was so small everytime I uploaded it to my photobucket. -_-; But I my score was 0/2/24. awwwww yeeeeaaaaah! SUPPORT. rofl. So my team mate who specializes in Karmaness (whutta pro) told me I should max E (shield thing does damage with mantra only, while shielding someone) for more damage first , unless I want more heals, I'd max Q (heals only if with mantra. also very good farming skill) and use W on a team mate or enemy. (makes team mate move fast, makes enemy slow down.) I was told to use my W on a team mate with CC. If the team mate has a stun, use W on them and they'll catch up to the enemy aaand stun 'em, which will give us a kill. I realllyyy enjoy playing as Karma. It's like, my 3rd or 4th time using her tbh. I'm glad the carry (master yi) said it's the first time he's seen a good karma. I'm a noob Karma... sooo noobs, you can do it too!~ The master yi pretty much solo'd baron with me there. Fun stuff! TRY KARMA NAO! She's fun & she can turn games around! :)

Allergy shot

2011-10-07T20:36:00.000-07:00

Got only two shots today, because they're one of the stronger ones. one in each arm. I have bumps all over my back! SOOO ITCHY!! ._. I'll suck it up and play some League while I'm at it. Was going to post some fiesta stuff, but the draft didnt save for that. >< lame.

Japan&Game

2011-10-02T15:38:00.000-07:00

My mom is in Japan right now! She's taking care of her mom. :) I miss her loads TBH! TT.TT Anyway, she's going to come back home on November 7th or 10th with some little presents for me. I'm excited- for the presents AND that my mom will be back home. haaha~ Also, my brother is in Japan, studying. He's at his dorm right now, it's pretty cool. Wish him the best of luck!
I'm currently playing a game called Fiesta. I really enjoy it! I've met very nice people already..it's nothing like the people on League of Legends......><; Most people I meet on LoL are quite rude tbh. =-= BUT in Fiesta, the people are nice!! even in PVP KQ! LOL- KQ stands for Kingdom Quest BTW. There's not really PVP/PVE servers. It's just, there's areas where you can go for PVP. and there are lvl limits. 20-36 for example. so no lvl 100s can go in there to kill lowbies.... XD
Oh..I was going to post reviews on stuff..and the post included pictures..BUT for some reason the saved draft is not here .-.
Anyway, time for me to make some breakfast.. and then get back to questing/grinding/whatever on Fiesta. Oh and time to wait for my hubby to come home so I can talk with him on Skype. Should be a few mins... :)

Oh, there you are!

2011-08-31T09:42:00.000-07:00

Water! There you are!
So like, since I've been sick with a cold for the past three days or so, I've been taking medicine with water. Even before I got sick, I've been drinking soda, CONSTANTLY. I cannot enjoy fizzy drinks while my throat is all clogged up with mucus(ewwww, i know), but I do drink sprite when I am sick. Anyway, that's where all the water's beeen... *sigh*. I really need to drink water, instead of soda. Soda is making me all bloated or something. Oh wait, I was just on my period. Whatever.
My period's over for this month, and now I'm going to do a New Beginning thing. I HAVE to. I'm going to start taking allergy shots on September 19th. Apparently, I will be getting 3-4 shots. I will have to stay in the hospital for like 4 hours, so I will be monitored or whatever. The doctors have to see if I will be alright or not. Apparently some people go into some sort of shock and all, idk. There was a heavy American woman in the lobby with us, I overheard her talking on the phone, she was saying she should have brought someone with her. She explained how she had to wait for an hour and all, oh and what do ya know?, she was talking about getting the allergy shots! She was scared, getting emotional, trying not to make a huge scene. I really hope she got through it allright. :)
I will have to go get my shots EVERY WEEK. 3-4 shots. 4+hours in a hospital, 30 mins between each shot. yep.
I need to start taking my allergy medicine around the exact same time, every single day! This is why I am pushing myself with the whole New Beginning thing! I cannot miss taking my medication while I'm going through this whole allergy shot process, otherwise I will have some sort of bad reaction, idk. fuck it, i can't really remember how the doctor worded it. he's korean, so. but his english is fine..just sometimes its like "what?".. ANYWAY! i know what he meant, just i can't explain it right now. brain fart. i am blogging at 2:15am because i have a hard time sleeping with this cold. my throat gets clogged w/ mucus, which causes me to sit up and cough it out, and yeahhh.. can't sleep like that.
I will be waking up early every moorning. 6am to be exact. do my morning workout routine, eat some yummy breakfast, practice piano (i'm learning something for my hubby), read a book, watch some tv(& i gotta spend more time with my parents and brother), maybe look up some recipes and cook dinner, but before dinner i'm going to exercise. gosh....i'm determined! lol.
good gravy, wish me luck.

OH AND, there's mold in my room....on my wall.... and on the floor...it needs to go away,like right nao ._.

yuck.

2011-08-24T03:56:00.000-07:00

Do you know what I dislike? It's something that ruins my day. This thing is called cystic acne. Mine do not get huge and major. They allllwaaaayyys appear near my jaw. They make me feel so bad to the point where I would just want to stay home 'til they disappear. Well, about a month ago or so, my mom bought me skinfood products.. three! the Parsley & Mandarin face wash, toner, and spot gel. Now I have been using these products ever since she gave them to me. Sure my skin has cleared up ALOT! but the acne comes back sometimes. The bad side of my face, where all that cystic acne action happens, is the left side. These stupid pimples hurt soooo much!! I had a huge clump of that shit on the left side of my face this year. OH MY FUCKING GOD, IT HURT LIKE A BITCH. Hell no, I didn't leave the house 'til that disappeared!
Anyway, the products really helped my skin, but once the pimples find their way to the surface of my face after my skin has cleared up, my day is ruined.
Oh but I do enjoy going out when my skin is looking and feeling great.
Btw, my brother is visiting us in two days. That's going to be fun! We will play games and go out shopping and do random stuff when he gets here. I'm excited, because we haven't done much here, I feel like.
I'm too tired to look over this and edit, so eh.

New start.

2011-08-14T12:46:00.000-07:00

Recent updates:
I've been different lately tbh. Playing a certain game 24/7, it's really not healthy. I decided I will learn piano on my own. I love Yiruma's music so much, I want to be able to play his pieces like a pro by the time I'm 20. That's my goal. Also, I will play them for my lover. Oh and more sewing will be on it's way. My mother found a great fabric shop nearby. Out with the games and in with the hobbies. <3
I'm also going to have to wake up early each day and exercise. Drink more water, tone down on the soda.
Also, I've been going to the doctor to get my allergies checked. Yes, I finally got those allergy tests. So damn expensive, but worth it! I found out that I am allergic to grass, oak and birch trees and more, which I will post later. I was told to take medication and see if that helped control my allergies. Nope, it didn't work. I've decided to take the shots. Every months I'll have to go to my doctor and get the shots. I'm nervous! I really freaked out when they did the blood test on me, the nurse and some girl had to comfort me/calm me down. I srsly almost cried. I thought it'd hurt cuz I watched the old lady get it and she shut her eyes so tight, it looked like it hurt like a mother fucker! I guess next time I shouldn't look at the old person...cuz it didn't hurt that bad. LOL. But yeah it hurt some afterwards.
Anyway, I will be a better person if I change my habits. I hate how I am right now, idk. I feel terrible. I've been reading two books that my dad gave to me years ago, about confidence and success. Gotta stay up on my toes since i've been feeling down. :P
Oh and my mom bought me new products for my skin. i'm so spoiled, but I'm so glad I have a wonderful, caring mother.

allergies

2011-06-09T20:48:00.000-07:00

yeah so weeks ago i was suppose to get my allergy test, but the woman was like "oh but everyone here gets allergies cuz of yellow dust," sooo no. basically. LOL. this time we're going to ask them to refer an allergy doctor. my appointment is today.

EDIT:
The doctor will contact my parents and tell us more information about which dr she has for us. allergy shots, finally!

Korean, and what I've been up to lately

2011-04-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

I'm taking Korean class with my mom. I'm really enjoying it. The teacher teaches very well! Such an affordable price to learn too. Such a great opportunity.

We're not doing well financially, so my mom and I will both look for a "job" on the military base together while we're here. Gotta earn more money for tuition too anyway. :)

I bought some clothes yesterday. Two outfits I could wear to work if I find something. Of course the job might not pay alot. Lol. Who knows, we'll see! I mean, maybe we could work at the commissary.. then those two outfits wouldn't be necessary to wear though. Too much of an office look. xD I wouldn't mind workin' in an office for a short while before school, though!

Anyway, Im watching classic cartoons atm. Casper's on. :P The Three Stooges finished a while ago. I really enjoy watching these cartoons no matter what age I am. xD

I'll post pics later. I keep saying that, sooo be patient. :)

Day 1

2011-01-01T08:53:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE!
My new year resolutions are
1. set certain goals
2. blog whenever i can
3. wake up early each day
4. drink water and tea only, unless on special occasions
Also, I wanna improve in black ops.. well, improve in fps games. and i wanna get a job this year. but first i need to get to the spa school and maybe make a bit of money there at least. i need to learn and improve on what i learn there. get my esthetician license in 2012. then go for laser classes.. which I COULD take my time on, but i'd rather get it over with. or if i wait a bit inbetween, i could get a job maybe? hmm.. maybe not. we'll see what happens. sometimes things come up, soo.. yeah.
so i'm going to be going to korea in late january/sometime in february. maybe i'll be in korea in march. who knows! the movers come in jan i think. so we most likely will be in korea in february. hm. i honestly don't know. but i know once i'm in korea, i'm going to be able to email jeff alot. and if we get to talk on skype chat w/ mic, i'll be using my webcam. oh and my mom is giving me her dresser thing with the mirror. i can use the top as my makeup desk. . .which i REALLY needed!
oh and some of my more personal entries that i posted here in the past have been deleted by me, because i feel like it shouldn't really be up. if i wanted to vent out, i'd just write it out in my own private diary. :) but ofc, i will tell you all how my day was on here. like today is a good day so far! i woke up at 6:15, went to the celebration, ate food, saw some talented people perform! it was fantastic~
oh and my mom likes playin super smash bros. brawl. she's playing it with my bro right now. ha ha ha! i switch off sometimes or i join the game with 'em, but for now i'm doing WQ on pwi.. or i'm oding both at the same time.. cuz you know, i can multitask..USUALLY. :D
anyway have a good day everyone . and be safe
~ happy new year :)

Something special.

2010-08-29T10:11:00.000-07:00

I remember that Jeff and I were talking about something special we owned. He asked me if I had any item that is really special to me. I told him no. I really didn't think I did. But I forgot about this precious angel thing that was once my grandma's. It's really special to me. I do bring it with me everywhere i go. I'll post a picture of it once my camera battery is fully charged. The angel is protected by something that says "Strength" at the top. Wow, I really can't explain this easily. Sorry guys. Anyway, the letters have rubbed off, unfortunately, but I can still tell what it says. "An angel to bring you strength to meet any challenge" and it's just really special and precious to me. I go through so many struggles tbh, and when I have this around, I feel like I can overcome anything. As if I can do anything. It's like it's cheering me on. It helps me go through challenges/struggles. I keep this close to me always.
I remember I had loads of other stuff from my grandma. I held onto those as tightly as I could, but I guess I lost my grip on them once my friends took advantage of me. As you know, I was easily taken advantage of in the past. Now it's more like "Hell no, you can't have that." In the past my friends would always come over to my house and EVERY SINGLE TIME they would ask me the same question "Can I have that?" My answer? "If you really want it, sure." I gave away some precious jewelry, cute accessories, the cutest bear bag ever, allll from my grandma. I couldn't stop. I wanted my friends to be happy. Never thought of myself. Oh goodness, here I go again. Okay, I'll stop, but I just want people to know that you should really not only think about making others happy, but think about your own happiness too. Don't let others take advantage of you either. And don't always expect to receive kindness that you've given. It's not always gonna happen, sadly. This made me realize that I should stop being so nice for a change. Soooo now I am ..like this. I'm still nice, just sorta... idk. The first impression that I give off to the majority of people who are my friends now..is that I looked like a badass bitch who is sortaaa angry all the time. angry/hateful. whatever. :P but yah. i'm nice. just not taken advantage of like back then. LEARN FROM THIS, GUYS. OKAYY? D;< I'm tellin' ya, you're going to feel like crap if you're like me from the past. Okay, moving on.
This Strength angel is extremely precious to me. If I ever lose it, I don't know what I'd do.

On another note,
I really wish a person would actually stop by my blog and leave me a message in my tagbox. It's as if I'm just getting ads, ads, and more ads. Ohhhh phoo-eyyy.

Grats to Kandee, I suppose. (:

2010-08-27T17:40:00.000-07:00

So Kandee is expecting a baby. Grats to her. <3
But the thing is, from what I understand at least, is that she believes in what I believe..which is -> don't have sex until marriage. she married at the age of 17.
That marriage lasted only 6 months. The guy decided he only wanted to be friends.
Recently she dated some guy who she has known for years. And that's right, they had sex. I love Kandee, but if you believe in something then you should actually stick to it. But she says she asked God for forgiveness, and now she's forgiven..so it's alright. Right. ... Really?
Hm. Idk about that.
I do like her entry though. I really do look up to her. I just don't know about her mistake too much. I mean, I don't really like how she did that. Now she's going to end up being hurt..since I'm sure the guy probably left already. I'm guessing that's what happened/what she was talking about earlier.

I really believe that everyone should save themselves for that one special person. Don't have sex until you're married. And don't marry someone just so you can have sex with them. I know someone who did that, and it's really sickening.
So many people find themselves falling into depression, or they will just feel so hurt because of this.
Example: Let's say the girlfriend is the one who believes in waiting to have sex 'til marriage. Well, the boyfriend makes his girlfriend feel like she's ready to have intercourse with him. Yes, intercourse. So they get to it and afterwards, the girl feels like she made a mistake, but then she feels fine because it seems like she'll be spending the rest of her life with this guy. Let's say that either the girl finds out that the guy has been cheating on her, or let's say that the next day is when the guy leaves her. What do you think happens now? Either way, she'll feel like shit because she gave away something precious. She could have saved herself for someone who actually cares.
That's one reason why I feel like everyone should wait 'til marriage.
But then again, not all marriages last. But that's because the two may not have been in love. You may have heard of this before:
"The words "I love you" are tossed around like a crumpled piece of paper and carry about the same weight for most people. All the expressions of love are there, but so many throw in the towel in a relationship when things stop going the way they want.
That's not love."

So think about it.
I hope someone who actually reads my blog, agrees that we should wait. Save yourself from the pain. Most importantly, you'll be happy that you waited because you'll be able to share a precious moment with your, well, spouse....who actually cares. Having the first-time experience with the one you're spending the rest of your life with = Special.

And, uhm, really, if you're with someone, make it clear to them about what you believe in. Seriously. Be truthful too. No one likes a liar/cold-hearted person who just wants things to go their own way. Like really. That's not love.
If you believe in this, and your boyfriend/girlfriend tries to make you feel like you're ready to have sex with them, tell them that you're not ready very firmly. (:

I mean, like Kandee has stated once before. Sometimes we are seeking to be loved and to feel wanted and we find ourselves standing on that doorway of having sex, and in one moment of giving in you can forever change the course of your life and a child’s life. By having sex, you don’t win the guys affection, you loose that guard over your heart, you loose the control over your emotions, you’ve given a gift to someone who should have made a promise to be with you forever in a form of a promise before God in marriage, not to someone who says, “Yes I love you, you mean the world to me,” and some months later they want to break up with you or you find out they cheated on you. Then you are left with all this horrible emotional baggage to sort out. Most important, guard your heart, guard your love, and please no matter how hard it gets, guard your decisions.
Sometimes we may know it’s not right, but we do it anyway. Don’t open the door to let crazy emotions about a guy start taking over your brain and then your life.

Cheaters.

2010-08-17T10:01:00.000-07:00

Something came across my mind today as I listened to a song on the radio. Something that really made me want to punch these people in the face. I'm being serious.
When you are in a relationship, you better stay away from getting too close/wanting to get close to the sex you are attracted to. Honestly. You shouldn't even try to, or even WANT to get to know the guy/girl, whoever the person may be. no matter the age. It shows that you are interested. You are showing them that you're interested, which will indicate to the female/male that they can put moves on you. One thing that I really hate is this line that i seriously have heard alot of in the past. It goes a little something like this: "He doesn't have to know." "She doesn't have to know." have, need, whateverwhateverwhatever.
It's just like, "Excuse me? Really? Would you like to be alive in the next hour?"
I just find this really terrible! It makes me angry to know that people who claim to be in love with someone, ends up screwing things up. So many of my friends are going through breakups and getting into relationships again and again and again, SO MANY TIMES, repeating that a whoooole lot WHILE I have been in a relationship of 10 months, 6 days. The reason why they end up breaking up is because someone in the relationship couldn't help but be unfaithful to his/her lover.
oh and idk the song name..i cant remember if i actually liked it or not(not lyrics). like, idr how the beat goes and all, but the guy is saying how "he doesn't have to know" and the woman says "she doesn't have to know." blah!
If you're going to cheat, you better not marry someone and have a family.
Serious.

Well, as you can tell, I disapprove of such behavior.

Anyone & everyone better disapprove. Shooot.

x

anyway, i'm dead tired now.
i was going to go send the package like i said in the last post, but i had to get ready..and yeah. i'm ready now. so i'm going to go send my hubby a package. :) (you dont have to eat the candy btw. its just something from my cousin's wedding i thought you MIGHT like it. oh and i'm sending you two cellphone charms, honey. i thought they were so cute. you better start liking chibi...xD just kidding! oh and i sent you the ASVAB book and ONE last thing in the package. i mean, i WILL send it, i didnt send it yet. uhm. the last thing in the package is just something i picked up at the last minute in japan. I bet you'll be embarrassed to use it. If so, then you're a loser. XD well i wont tell you what it is! you'll see when you get it.) <33

Kindness please.

2010-08-17T01:38:00.000-07:00

For some reason negativity is surrounding me. I'm looking at things so negatively.

But in the past I was so positive. I was actually a really happy person. I actually had nice friends who I could share anything with.

Since I'm in a negative mood, it must mean something is bothering me.
Anyway, here I go,
All I ever used to do is give. Give, give, give. Mmhmm. If my friend said they wanted something, I'd be like "Oh go ahead, take it." I want to make my friends happy. Then I noticed they continued saying "Oh I want this, I want that, Ye Mi." And I would say "Okay, you can have it." People tend to take advantage of me. I used to be taken advantage of way too much. It's sickening.
So I gave and I gave and I gave. My friends were in heaven.
What do I get in return? Well, one of my "friends" decided to bring a huge almost empty backpack with her to my 13th birthday party. This was a sleepover too. Oh yes, you could imagine how much she could fit into that backpack of hers. "Oh, Ye Mi has EVERYTHING. She has SO MANY NICE THINGS! I wish I could have it all." Are YOU happy now? I gave, i gave, i gave, yet I never received. I didn't even get a single birthday present. No money, nothing. Somehow I thought to myself "oh, but my friends are happy. that's all that matters."
Now I don't like having people touch my stuff. What happens is that they either end up breaking or stealing something.
I cannot trust. Almost anyone.

I had plenty of reasons why I decided to start playing games. one was so that i would make friends.

I was such a kind person.
I still do see myself as a kind person, but I mean, IDK. I never really receive kindness. Maybe that's why when I am being teased by friends or if someone makes a terribly mean joke, I feel reallyreally sad, or angry. I've never truly got back the kindness that I gave.
You know, I went through ALOT in my life. I have way too much happen to me. Something that affected my social life, some abuse i've been through, somethingsomethingsomething. more. Sure, loads of people have problems going on with them. and it's sad how terrible fortune can go to, well, just about anyone, but especially to people who don't deserve it. I really am in a terribly negative mood. And I do feel down. I cannot look at anything positively now actually. Honestly. Whenever I go out, I feel insecure, I feel like something bad is going to happen. I find myself holding my breath alot. I don't feel safe around people.

& I feel like I'm always being treated terribly.
I don't consider some of my "friends" friends now because they are especially two-faced. They are backstabbers.
What surprises me is when I notice how a close friend of mine turns out to be two-faced..talks about me terribly to her acquaintances like I could possibly have no feelings at all. and hearing especially rude "jokes" from close friends hurt. ALOT, especially when she does it so she can make other people laugh, but of course she fails miserably. Plain rude.

Now I am more of a cautious person.
I'm very insecure about almost anything.
I try not to be entirely too nice to people, so I'm sorry if I come off as a jerk.

Anyway,
It's like I can't be taken seriously,
Most of my friends think I'm a joke.
Most of my ex boyfriends saw me as a joke.
I feel like I'm about to just give up soon.

I really hope that for once, I will receive the kindness that I have given in the past.

Vicky

2010-05-24T18:29:00.000-07:00

R.I.P. Victoria

(EDIT: I was too depressed to write anything on that day. I miss her so much.)

Vicky, mommy and daddy brought you home to me and conrad years ago. I was probably about 2 years old. So many wonderful memories with you. You were one of my favorite dogs. You stuck by the family's side til the end, sweetie. You ran away, but always always always came back..even in that huge thunderstorm back in GP. We went out and drove so far to find you, and not a single time did we think to give up. You poor thing, we knew you'd be so scared. You hated water, you were so afraid of rainy days. We miss you so so so so so much! :( We love you. R.I.P. Vicky. <3

R.I.P. Shiloh

2010-05-04T13:09:00.000-07:00

It seems so unreal. I thought I was only having a bad dream.
Shiloh is in spirit world now, waiting for us.
You brought so much joy to everyone who had the chance to meet you. Thank you for being with us for those ten years.
You'll live in our hearts forever.
We love you Shiloh.
R.I.P. my little Chubbybones.
♥

Snuggle song

2010-04-29T16:09:00.000-07:00

eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ps9e1vqOKtM
^ jeff showed me thisss ^
THAT BUNNY IS SO CUTE.

lol limewire

2010-04-14T10:09:00.001-07:00

steffy's post made me wanna tell you guys this...xD

go to google
type in " lol limewire "
click on " I'm feeling lucky "

Funny

2010-04-01T13:23:00.000-07:00

Okay so I went out to get some coffee this afternoon, and there was this little girl who was following some lady and the lady's daughter. the two little girls seem to be about the same age(maybe in kindergarten). well, the little black girl who was followin' them around was like "whats cho numbuh?" and the other girl's mom took her daughter and walked away a bit. the poor white girl looked frightened. then the other girl walks towards them slowly and is all like :"come on. wha-" then her older brother came along and called after her. lmao. anyway, she was like, coming onto the poor little white girl. LOL. it was WEIRD.
oh and on my way back home, one of those sex toy ads came on the radio, so all i hear is "they say one size fits all, but that's not true! adam and eve sex toys-" <-LOLOL. ONE SIZE DOESNT FIT ALL, I'M SORRY. funny stuff.... oh and adam and eve sex toys...really? rofl. xD anyway, i totally changed the radio station. i mean, come on, the car windows were down and everything, and the volume was pretty high. how embarrassing is that?! LOL.

My Little Chubbybones

2010-03-18T11:12:00.000-07:00

i just came back from the vet..since Shiloh needed to get checked with whatever is wrong with her. oh and she has breast tumors or something..but there's no pain apparently..the tumors are just there. oh and she's 70 pounds..@_@
sigh.

Birthday

2010-01-27T08:33:00.000-08:00

My family won't be around to celebrate my birthday. *sad face*! But my mom's friend is gonna bake me a cake and then she's gonna be taking me out to get some chinese food for dinner! :D And OMG, let's just say that her baking skills are AMAZING. My mom's friend gave me baking/cooking lessons in the past. I'm not sure why she doesn't anymore. probably because we don't have time to go to her house every friday. hmph. Or maybe my mom just wants to teach me. :P Oh and my mom ordered my presents online for me so that I'll be able to receive them before my birthday..so i'll be happy i guess. lol. hmmm, i hope my birthday will be a good one this year. I'll be turning 18 years old. ^^